What Are the Basic Characteristics of a Successful Parent?
According to author and Temple University psychology professor Laurence Steinberg, being a good parent helps cultivate qualities in children such as integrity, empathy, self-control, self-reliance, teamwork, cheerfulness, and kindness and instills in them the desire to succeed. A good parent’s job is also to protect their child against the development of psychological issues, such as depression, anxiety, and anti-social behavior, which increases the risk of drug abuse.
Loving and Affectionate
A study of 2,000 parents by psychology professor and researcher Robert Epstein published in the 2010 issue of “Scientific American” found that it was most important to raise happy children to be loving and affectionate while still providing parental guidance. Instead of criticizing and accusing them, caring parents prefer to respect, motivate, and nurture their children. They continually affirm their affection and love, both verbally and by their actions. They build self-esteem by using constructive reinforcement, rather than breaking it down with criticism. They are quick to offer enthusiastic praise when their child achieves an accomplishment. It’s great that you cleaned your room without being asked, “or” I’m so proud that you made the basketball team, “a loving parent might say.”
Skillful Communicators
Parents who are professional communicators demonstrate real concern and are always available to them in all aspects of their child’s life. Through discussing the reasoning behind the laws, they display compassion for their kid, rather than simply telling him to “do as you’re told.” In order to become a professional communicator, allow your child to communicate his feelings and then listen with understanding. Being an interested listener shows him that he appreciates and values his feelings and views. Instead of belittling his emotions by telling him that he is “wrong” to feel a certain way, display empathy by saying, “I can understand why you were upset by your little sister” or “I’m sorry your best friend made you so sad.”
Ability to Manage Stress
According to Epstein, the ability to control their stress and temper, which contributes to well-adjusted children, is another important characteristic of a successful parent. Children also cope with stress by mirroring how their parents manage feelings in stressful situations. It also causes their children to feel insecure and less comfortable if parents are unable to cope with stress. But even during heated situations, if your child watches how you can handle your feelings, he can follow your lead and learn how to handle stress on his own.
Positive Role Model
According to a 2010 report on PsychologyToday.com, being a good role model for healthy actions is more successful than strict disciplinary steps or instruction in raising your kids. Via observation, children learn and sometimes imitate their parents’ behavior. They feel less secure as they watch their parents fighting and losing control. By fighting and arguing, they could try to settle disputes, just like their parents do. Yet parents who are able to sort out their problems and differences are healthy role models by calm conversations rather than heated arguments. These are the characteristics you hope to develop in your boy, such as:
- Kindness
- compassion
- honesty
- respectfulness
- tolerance
- patience
- honesty
- unconditional love